It all looks so easy … all your important people squeezed into the viewing room at the bridal shop, and although tempers may flair and preferences may differ, the perfect dress is oh so easy to find, tears overflow as the choice is made …. And boom! Another successful segment is taped and into the bridal gown shopping history books.
Well, hold on a minute. While finding your perfect dress is not impossible – there are some easy steps you can take to be prepared and to make the experience the best it can be – and less like a reality TV show segment.
Here are my top 6 shopping recommendations:
1. Go prepared.
Know what your budget is – and remember to factor in – not only the cost of the dress and accessories – but tax (in Seattle figure 10%) and alterations (which varies depending upon services requested).
Go in already knowing what you like. Pull pictures out of magazines or build a Pinterest board of your favorites – and then determine what dress features are common to most of your pictures. That exercise will highlight the dress attributes that you like most. Are all your selections bedecked with pearls? – well then, pearls must be your thing.
And if you’re a high achiever, learn some of the wedding dress vernacular so you can better communicate with your bridal consultant. (I highly recommend this simple guide at Rock My Wedding.)
Your dress should set the tone for the wedding – so if you want an elegant and formal affair, your dress should fit the part. But if you want a Boho meadow wedding, while the full on glam gown will work, you might want something a bit more avant-garde. Think about the vibe you want to send with your gown.
This preparation just helps you to stay on track when you get to the shop – and all the myriad of options you will encounter.
2. Decide who you want to go with you.
Remember, this is completely up to you. You don’t have to feel obligated to invite the whole bridesmaid crew, or future in-laws, or your own mother for that matter. Just be sure that whoever you invite will be honest and supportive – and will ultimately let you make your own choice.
3. Okay … you know what you’re looking for, you’ve decided on buying buddies – now it’s time to schedule an appointment. Bridal gown shopping is not a drop-in affair!
Weekdays are going to be the least crowded. If you can take a day off just for dress shopping that would be ideal and least stressful. But if you do have to be a weekend wedding dress warrior, know that booking the first morning appointment on Saturday will be the least busy and your consultant will be most fresh. It’s worth arising early to have a great experience.
Pick 2 or 3 shops you are interested in. Figure a minimum of an hour at each shop so space your appointments out accordingly. If you find your dress at the first stop – Hooray! It’s just in time for brunch and mimosas! And if you do have to go to all 3, you should be done in time for Happy Hour somewhere!
Some recommend going to the shop that has the most cost-friendly price tags first and then work up from there (the more expensive dresses will always be more desirable – and it’s hard to work your way back down to a cheaper dress). I recommend going with a Google search and your gut – a quick search gives you a ton of options with expected price range. And a quick search on the store’s website gives you a gut feel on whether the store and you will be a good fit or not. I say go with the most appealing in your price range first – and then you just might be able to make that mimosa brunch!
On a budget? Various stores have off-the-rack options, pop-up sales, and sales on last year’s styles that give you the options of gorgeous gowns that are very reasonably priced.
And if you’re a curvy size, check with the store to be sure they have samples in your size range for you to try on.
4. Dress for success!
Bring along shoes with a heel height that you expect to wear on your wedding day. Toss on some make-up and style your hair up or down depending upon the wedding plan. That way you’ll be seeing your dress in a similar way to your day. (Have you ever tried on a dress while in your comfy running shoes – it just really leaves something to be desired.)
And last, but not least, wear a well-supported strapless bra (who wants to see bra straps while you’re choosing your most important attire), neutral thong (enough said), and bring along your Spanx – because what looks bad with lumps might look absolutely fabulous smoothed out!
5. Here we go!
Remember to be open to alternatives. You’ve done your homework, you know what you like – but your consultant might just know the perfect dress for your body type or your vibe. She does this for a living … and just flow with it. You might find the most absolute perfect dress that makes you feel drop-dead gorgeous yet isn’t at all like what you’d thought it would be.
Remember – the majority of pictures – and what people will notice most – is the top of the dress. While that train or the backless gown might be to die for – if the bodice doesn’t flatter, no one will notice the other details.
Remember – to consider the season. Choosing a strapless gown for winter is fine – but if you run on the cold side and will need to cover-up most of the time, why not go for something a bit more substantial and ready for the weather. And the same goes for summer, no need to be sweltering in a heavy brocade gown when a lighter material is certainly a better option.
Remember – if you can’t afford it, don’t even try it on. Guaranteed it will be the one that you love most, and who needs that anguish.
Remember – to try on as many dresses as you need to, and once you have a few great options, start narrowing it down. Can you move in it? Can you sit in it? Can you dance in it? Do you feel comfortable in it? Is it a style that you will have to be re-adjusting throughout the evening? – definitely not a good choice. Are you self-conscious about any aspect of it? Do you feel beautiful in it? Most importantly – how do you envision that first look? – will he love it?
6. The choice is made … now what?
Be sure to order the size you are now. All brides plan on losing weight – but not all are successful. It is much easier to take a dress in than it is to let it out.
The Contract: It is usual and customary to put down 50%. Don’t put down more than that in case there is a mix-up or a problem with the dress when it arrives. Be sure the contract stipulates when the gown will be ready, the cost of any expected alterations, and your recourse if the dress arrives damaged or without any requested modifications. Also, be sure the order is correct – double check the designer, style number, size and color.
Schedule your day for alterations – and bring any accessories with you to that fitting. Seeing it all put together will assure you that you have each detail just right. You’ll also be scheduling a final fitting once all the alterations have been made.
Now … what about all those people that want to see the dress before your day? Be prepared for simply everyone to ask to see pictures. Of course, you don’t want your groom to see it …. but it is up to you how many others you show – or don’t show. Part of the magic of the day is the surprise of seeing the bride – and her gown – as she takes her first steps down the aisle. Let that be your inspiration as you tell anyone – or everyone – no.
So, you’ve chosen your dress … now stop looking. But there is more dress shopping to be done … stay tuned for advice on how to choose your bridesmaids’ dresses …
